


Vanilla

by miss_trilby



Category: British Comedy RPF, Would I Lie To You? RPF
Genre: Dom/sub Undertones, M/M, Male Slash, Sexual Fantasy, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-31
Updated: 2014-05-31
Packaged: 2018-01-27 16:10:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1716668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_trilby/pseuds/miss_trilby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's after recording, in David's dressing room and in a moment of post-oral tom-foolery Lee inadvertently tells David what it is he needs from him.  David, sharp as ever, immediately jumps on it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vanilla

"You Bastard," David breathed, his head thrown back over the sofa, arms limp by his sides.

  
Lee sat back on his heels watching the swift rise and fall of David's chest. "Well that's charming that is. You come in my mouth and you call me a bastard!"

  
David's eyes remained shut, but a smile played on his lips. "Rob was knocking on the bloody door, Lee! What do you expect? You just... _carried on!"_

  
"Actually, that's pretty much what I was expecting from you." Lee dragged the back of his hand across his wet mouth. "And for the record, you didn't exactly try to fucking stop me either"

  
"I was too far gone."

  
"Yeah, I noticed," Lee smirked, "There's Rob outside the door- _'David, David, are you in there David?'_ and there's you- _'Oh Fuck, Lee! Suck me harder!'_

  
David's head snapped up and he threw Lee a withering look. "You're such a liar."

  
"Well that's what I heard," Lee said innocently, adopting his 'David voice' again _-"Keep going you little slut! Faster! I want him to listen to me coming down your throat!"_

  
David laughed lazily and wrinkled his nose, "You're disgusting."

  
Lee shrugged, his eyes twinkling. "I'm only saying what we were both thinking, David."

  
"No no no no," David smiled, shaking his head, "Don't drag _me_ into this fantasy! What you're basically saying is that _you_ were imagining this...this bizarre kind of pantomime where I verbally abuse you and boss you about within earshot of Rob Brydon!"

  
Lee blinked up at him grinning, "That's just an average week, David."

  
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think I have ever used the term ' _Slut'_ to describe you before, Lee" David sneered "And certainly not on camera. Although if that performance is anything to go by, I might have to start using it more often. I mean Fuck! Where'd you learn to do that anyway!?"

  
"Barrowman," Lee winked.

  
" _Slut"_

  
"Don't," Lee said, "Seriously, I'm ready to explode here as it is."

  
David looked at him, his eyes scornful, "You're telling me you actually _like_ that? That turns you on?"

  
Lee grinned back at him cheekily, "What's so weird about that, David?"

  
"Hah," David laughed, "That depends which bit you're referring to - My imperious name-calling, or the fact that you wanted Rob to overhear it?"

  
"Both," Lee smirked,

"You have to admit, David, there's something about nearly getting caught."

  
David smiled back at him knowingly, "You're just looking for an opportunity to gloat."

  
Lee shrugged, "The' Rejected Chuckle Brother' sucks David Mitchell's cock. Who's laughing now, Brydon?"

  
David laughed, "Probably still him. Christ, you have a long memory."

  
"Too right," Lee said, "And I'll give him fucking _'Easy on the eye'_ when I snog your face off at next week's recording."

  
David raised his eyebrows sceptically, a gentle flush creeping across his cheeks, _"Really?"_

  
"Well maybe not _snog_ exactly," Lee backtracked, "But I'll flirt with you enough to make you blush like you're doing now."

  
"Oooh that'll show him," David drawled.

  
"You'll see," Lee said, "I'll have a word with the researchers, see if we can get some proper material I can improvise with for a change. I'm happy to simulate sucking your cock on camera, David, if it means Brydon loses sleep."

  
"Lovely," David replied cynically, "Something to look forward to...National-scale humiliation. And will you stop being so bloody catty all the time."

  
"Catty?" Lee said, nodding knowingly, "What was it he said about your diversity as an actor again David? Ah that's it... 'Posh and repressed, or repressed and posh.' "

  
"You're right. He's an arse. Carry on"

  
Lee shifted uncomfortably on his knees, though he didn't want to move; David looked incredible from this angle- all relaxed and rough around the edges, eyes warm and teasing. He also looked in no rush to do anything about Lee's arousal and it was really starting to ache now.

  
"I don't mean to hurry you David, whilst you're all chilled-out and contented, but were you thinking of getting me off anytime soon, or what?"

  
David looked down at him and stroked his chin thoughtfully.

  
"Well?"

  
"Okay, so I take your point about Rob, about letting him listen," David said, "Now what about the other thing?"

  
Lee pulled a confused face which made David smile. "I don't think there was another thing, David."

  
"Oh but there definitely was," David teased. "The bossy slander, remember? Let's go back to that bit shall we?"

  
Lee laughed through his nose and returned David's coy smile, "Must we?"

  
" Elaborate if you will, please Lee." David sat back and laced his fingers together, fixing him with a flirtatious stare.

  
Lee shrugged and sighed, "Okay...Well, it's like this, David, We've been doing this show for the past God knows how many years and I've sort of become accustomed now to you being all smart and condescending. So when you're not ...smart and condescending I mean ... it just doesn't feel right." He stared back at David, his eyes playful.

  
"So what you're saying to me," David said scornfully, "Is that you have, over time, become conditioned to find my superiority _arousing_?"

  
Lee grinned, "Well put it this way, these days I sometimes struggle to get a hard-on at all without you shouting at me in the background. When you're off living your life, David, oblivious, I sometimes have to resort to Soapbox just to get myself off."

  
David laughed manically.

  
"So am I to glean from this, that you purposefully provoke me then, on National television, for your own sexual gratification? I can't decide whether that's alluring or just plain creepy."

  
Lee laughed, "Well now you know. Next time you're being all ranty and smug coz you think you're winning, I'll be secretly getting off on it. I think that makes me the real winner." He clicked his tongue and winked.

  
David narrowed his eyes, smirking. "Again, Just to clarify," he spat, "Me shouting at you!? Really Lee!?"

  
"In my defence David, you're very sexy when you're angry."

  
David flushed again and chewed his lower lip.

  
Lee rolled his eyes dramatically. "I thought it was fairly obvious, David. I mean, I understand you're quite _'vanilla'_ when it comes to sex, and I'm not about to ask you to start pissing on me or anything like that, but..."

  
David coughed.

  
"I'm just saying, sometimes it's nice when you...you...you know."

  
"Take you in hand?" David offered, grinning slyly.

  
"Well that as well," Lee quipped, nodding towards the bulge in his trousers, "Definitely that."

  
David noticed the way his eyes danced as he made the joke. He sat watching him, smiling, cheek resting on his hand, eyebrows raised questioningly.

  
"What!?" Lee said, "You mean...seriously?"

  
"Seriously," David repeated.

  
Lee sighed, "Well David, you know me and my big mouth..."

  
"I do indeed," David smirked, "Go on."

  
"Well it's just...I suppose I've always been a bit of a Smart-Arse. I'm just quick, I can't help it. And I've always got away with it. I mean... no-one's ever been able to put me in my place before, like no-one, _ever_...

... And then you came along." Lee shrugged and looked at the floor, and David thought he'd never looked more vulnerable, more irresistible.

  
"You're really not joking are you?"

  
"Not really."

  
"Crikey!" David laughed, "Excellent! Well err..."

  
"I'm going to regret this aren't I?" Lee said, "I can see it already. Right now you're looking a bit too smug for my liking, David."

  
"Well under the circumstances, forgive me if I appear a little self-satisfied." David said, tenting his fingers and peering at Lee over the top of them, dark eyes sparkling.

  
"This doesn't mean you get to subject me to your Evil-Bond-Villain glare you know."

  
"On the contrary," David said slowly, "I think you'll find it gives me the authority to do pretty much what I want with you." He enjoyed the way then, that Lee's breath turned sharp on the intake, and he sat watching him for a moment, thinking.

  
He stood up suddenly, fastening his trousers and pushing his hair into place. Lee blinked up at him in surprise.

  
" Get up," David ordered, in a tone that turned Lee's insides to liquid. "We're going on set."

  
"What? On set as in _out there -_ on set?" Lee spluttered.

  
David watched and waited as Lee dragged himself up off the floor to stand inches from him, breathing heavily. "Why?"

  
"I'm going to fuck you, Lee," David said calmly, looking deep into his startled eyes, "Over Rob's desk."

  
He listened to Lee exhale sharply and watched his hand tremble as he raked his fingers self-consciously through his hair.

  
Then keeping his voice low and teasing, David continued, "And whilst I'm fucking you good and hard over Rob's desk, I'm going to be whispering all manner of depreciative filth in your ear... We'll see who's ' _vanilla'_ then, won't we?"

  
He enjoyed the way Lee groaned then, involuntary and sort of carnal.

  
"Oh and put your jacket on, I want you to look respectable, when we're in there at least. For now you can leave it open; I'd like to see you hard as you walk."

  
Lee couldn't tear his eyes from David's dark, penetrating stare. He was terrified, dizzy, horny as fuck. "What if someone sees?"

  
David noted the way his voice shook ever so slightly. "Yes, I would say there's quite a high possibility of that happening...Hmm I wonder whether Rob's left yet." He watched Lee swallow, watched his eyes flit between his own and the door.

  
"You're really going to do this?"

  
"Yes," David said simply, "And so are you if you want any sort of relief from that massive fucking erection of yours, that is."

  
"You sadistic bastard," Lee whispered, a smile creeping onto his face despite himself, "Fuck!" He ran a hand through his hair again and then shrugged resignedly, "Okay."

  
"Good," David smiled and walked to the door. He opened it and gestured to Lee who was still rooted to the same spot on the dressing room floor, "After you."

 


End file.
